Anxiety self

Severe Anxiety has been ruling my life for months. It’s been out of control. I feel like I’m in a boxing ring 24/7. I wake up crying and upset. I assume the world is against me.

I have been living with the in-laws while my husband travels for work. Being without him is like being unable to breathe. I’m powered on hugs and love. I’ve been without him for five weeks. I’m starving.  I haven’t even been in my right mind enough to write. I’ve been uninspired. My work on has been minimal. 

I’ll be going home next week and I will plead with my psychiatrist to give me anxiety meds that work. She’s got me on this horrible one that just makes me sleep. I’ve only been able to relieve the anxiety by taking a muscle relaxer. Thank God that I’ve had access to this med. I would have ended up in the psych ward again. 

My husband doesn’t deserve this. No one does. It’s a battle within myself to control my reactions. To trust him and his words. I hold him to a very high standard and I know that he can live up to it, but my anxiety self is searching for anything to discredit him. Not fair, not right and it’s all I can do to keep the anxiety from tearing us apart. 

I love you baby, hang in there! 


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